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The Lovers Relationship Programme
Since the end of May 2020 a new product from the Lovers have been in progress. It is still a work in progress but we are happy to announce that our Relationship Programme will be available to couples who apply to be part of this year long program. At the end of January our first prototype course will be held on the island of Gotland. A Corona-safe sized group will take part as well as give feedback and input of how to progress this product to more of you. Why a relationship program? We believe, know (and are proud stealers and borrowers of the relationship research available, that all say)…
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The Lovers App 2.0
Maybe you all have noticed that on a technical level things have not been as good as we all had hoped for. Our developers, from the start of our app, have not been up to scratch and they have disappointed us many times. It feels so good at this moment to be able to tell you that we have moved our business to a new supplier that seems much more promising. Getting everything moved takes a bit of time but things can’t get any worse as it seems that many users have stopped receiving Cards from the App. Hopefully the new developers will manage to fix the current problems very…
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the Snippets – our podcast
During the autumn of 2020 a new seed has taken root and will grow healthily into a plant of some sort during the year of 2021. It started as we were out walking our beloved dog, Snowy. During our walks we talk a lot about relationships, ours and others. We also talk a far amount of what research has to say about relationships, as well as what other prominent persons (Esther, John, Julie, David, Emily, etc) gives us insights into. So, one day we realized we would extend our products and offerings to you all. This time with our version of a podcast. We call them the Snippets. Our aim…
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To bid – crucible and small
At the Gottman Lab couples spent 24 hours in an apartment, built into a lab. The couples started as newlyweds and came back annually for six years. Most couples ate, read, watched TV, talked and slept. As they were being monitored and later on also being looked upon through the eyes of a researcher. This is what Julie and John writes in their book; “10 principles for doing effective couples therapy”. “Janice Driver spent years working in the apartment lab, trying to ferret out what predicted sustained friendship and intimacy in these newlyweds. Driver was particularly intrigued by the minutiae of their smallest exchanges – the turn of a heat,…
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Fight fair and repair
Fight Fair and Repair – from the Chapter ”Agree to disagree”Excerpt from the book Eight Dates by John & Julie Schwartz Gottman and Doug Abrams & Rachel Carlton Abrams “Fights are going to happen in any relationship – it’s inevitable and it’s healthy – but research shows that couples who are genuinely happy in their marriage or relationship handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. They listen to their partners perspective, they seek to understand their partner, and they work together to find a compromise that works for them both. Sometimes we say and do things that damage our partner. We forget seeking understanding, and we give a 20-minute diatribe…
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Feeling attractive and desired…
How aware are you of when you feel attractive and desired? Feeling attractive. It could feel like the most difficult task ever. Or maybe the opposite. It could be very easy for you to feel attractive. Maybe you are a user of our app and just received a challenge to let your partner know what makes you feel attractive, or maybe you just found this post and wanted to read more about attraction and desires. Welcome to you all. The challenge is to become aware of when you feel attractive. What makes you feel attractive. And share it with your partner. Every day for a full week. We do hope…
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Our agreement
… I believe that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. Esther Perel As Esther so well puts it in the quote above, the quality of your life can get better if you add more quality to your relationship. We are glad that you have found us and our app. We wish for you to have good quality in your relationships. In this app we focus on your primary romantic relationship. As you are here reading this you seem to take your relationship seriously. And it seems you want to work on it. Improve it. Make it more sustainable. Make it a little bit better every…
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“in a non-judgmental way”
As you will find (or already have found) we encourage you very often to listen to your partner while s/he shares something with you. Reflecting together. Listening when someone shares a story from their childhood, an event from the day och their biggest passion. Whatever it is that is being shared, your task is to listen as closely as possible. Without any judging thoughts or remarks. Listen with your curiosity. Listen to really hear not only what is being said, but perhaps how it is being said, if there are any facial expressions, or body language. Take all of that in. And do leave all of your preconceptions at the…
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The ebb and flow of a relationship
Do you have the relationship you want? Do you and your partner have the relationship you both want? Do you have the sex life you want? Do you and your partner have the sex life you both want? Do you put time and effort into becoming a better partner? Do you invest time and effort in your relationship? Do you help your partner become a better partner? Do you let your partner help you become a better partner? What steps do you take to become a better lover for your partner? What steps do you let partners help you with so that you become a better lover? How do you…
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Fantasies about sex
To have sexual fantasies is easy for some and more difficult for others. In my sex-talk groups I have met a lot of women who share with the group that they never fantasize. About sex. Never. I usually ask them to give themselves permission to let that part of their erotic intelligence wake up. To fantasize is just like any other super-power. It can be hidden when you want to. No one knows you own it. But it will make you into a better lover. For your self and your partner. Next time you notice something turning you on, do not smash it and shove it under the mental carpet.…
