We love our relationship. And each other. When we reached our forties we realized that not all relationships were the same. Separations, unhappiness and “half-dead” became apparent all around us. Among family, co-workers, friends and neighbours. We felt sad and unhappy for them, yet pleasantly surprised that it did not apply to us as it did to so many others.
We started to reflect upon our relationship and its success. What had we done? What had we not done? What were other people doing or not doing? Was there anything that could be done to improve the relationships around us that were failing? How could we help others? And for us, most importantly, what did our relationship need to not only survive, but to thrive?
In our early forties, apart from family life with young teenagers, Tess was the managing director for a small company in the Education industry and Hunter was self-employed in the Marketing industry. Having just finished off long commitments as players on the rugby scene in Sweden. Yes, rugby is where we met.
Changes took place. We did not want to end up where so many others had. We realized that we had to prioritise our relationship and put effort into it.
At the time we knew little of how to do this. There was not much obvious help available, it was not something people talked about in general, nor was it a topic discussed at dinners or with colleagues. No wonder so many relationships were failing.
Tess started exploring the literature and other sources that felt compelling for the needs of our relationship. A first insight at this point was that we were already, however unconsciously, using a lot of the beneficial relationship strategies. It also became apparent that most of these strategies were relatively easy tools to incorporate for any relationship if you only knew about them.
A decade later we are now heading into our fifties and our fourth marriage with each other. Our kids are older and our careers have completely changed intensity and direction. Giving us more time to share some of our wisdom and learnings.
Our mission today is to help other couples thrive in their relationships. One part of this is through our app “The Lovers” that gives couples access to tools and knowledge that was hard for us to find. We have also started a mini podcast, Snippets – The Lovers Podcast (in Swedish). It is a number of short programs connected to relationship issues. On top of that we also coach couples and arrange “training camps” for couples that wish to strengthen their relationships. We long for a society where conversations about life and relationships are as common as talking about the weather.
We would love to have you on our side, being curious, daring greatly and thriving in your relationship. We believe we all inspire each other. We also believe, as Esther Perel puts it: “The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life”.
Our curiosity is not stopping us here. We are continuously looking for new ways to help and improve our and other people’s ́relationships.
At ours and your service,
Lots of Love,
Hunter & Tess