In a relationship, sooner or later the mundane will take over and, the communication that takes place between the lovers changes. The initial texting that consisted of “I love you-s” and maybe setting up some scenarios for next date, or explicit wishes for sex simply vanishes.

And sooner or later the communication in texting during the days and even at home might consist only of who´s doing the shopping, or picking up the kids, buying the birthday gift for the mother in law, or other very practical details to make life, work and family function as optimal as possible.

Choose a sexting tool

To keep communicating to your partner as you did in the beginning – start a new communication-channel where the rule is that everything mundane or everything concerning the care taking of family and household, work etc is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.

In our relationship we use the app Viber. Viber provide a “private-chat” with options to have messages kept or erased. You can also have other different settings in it. For example the photos you send will be blurred until you click on them to see them.
The full text in the message sent will not show up on the receivers home screen. A little notification that you just received a new message is all you see.

  1. Start by choosing the preferred sexting tool that you agree upon
  2. Agree also upon what is not ok to use this channel for
  3. Start sexting!


Always make the kindest assumptions when your partner doesn’t respond nor act the way you want them to do – agree to make the kindest assumption at all times (this will be hard at times).

We do encourage you to do your part, so that if or when you feel your partner is not doing their part. Accept that you might have to take a bit more responsibility for a period of time. Maybe your partner is having a tough period at work or is bothered by something else?

One way of thinking about this is that it will seldom nor in every given moment be a complete share of 50/50 in effort from you and your partner. It might more be 60/40 or 20/80. And it will change back and forth between you both.
If you take a longer perspective and look at a longer period, you will more likely see a 50/50 balance. Not in any given moment – but in the long run.

Find ways to talk about this that help you come back to what you once agreed upon. And keep flirting and sexting with your partner. Make them feel special to you. At least twice a week.


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