• Cards,  Lust and sex

    I turn myself on when I…

    I turn myself on when I…… or You turn me on when you……. When you are talking to yourself or to your partner around turn ons and turn offs, what does it sound like? Are you taking responsibility for turning yourself on, for your arousal?Or are you letting your partner take all the responsibility for your arousal and excitement? Do you need your partner to ignite your arousal, turning you on to want sex?How is your usual internal conversation or the one with your partner? Can you take more responsibility than today and keep your arousal simmering? Can you own your excitement around sex? Can you turn your own arousal…

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    The importance of sexting

    In a relationship, sooner or later the mundane will take over and, the communication that takes place between the lovers changes. The initial texting that consisted of “I love you-s” and maybe setting up some scenarios for next date, or explicit wishes for sex simply vanishes. And sooner or later the communication in texting during the days and even at home might consist only of who´s doing the shopping, or picking up the kids, buying the birthday gift for the mother in law, or other very practical details to make life, work and family function as optimal as possible. Choose a sexting tool To keep communicating to your partner as…

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    Are you bringing the best of you to work and the leftovers of you home?

    If you want to change the other, change yourself. ...says Esther Perel in this interview Esther Perel is one of the persons that the Lovers app is truly in awe of. We love her work, her preciseness, her way of widening the perspectives and how she shares her work with us all. Below you’ll find two more paragraphs from the same interview at cbc Canada. What skills should I start honing? I often tell people, “How many of you find yourself bringing the best of you to work and the leftovers home?” And generally a vast majority of the people raised their hands. Here is this relationship from which we expect so…

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    Do I really have to put in effort to desire my partner?

    A common myth is that there is something serious about the relationship if the parties need to work to keep the fire alive. This can cause sex to become anxious. Yes, that’s it. You need to work on wanting your partner. For the remainder of your relationship. To desire him or her every day. All you want to do or have in life you need to strive for. Apply time and effort. Maybe spend some money on it. Receive help from someone who knows a little more than you right now. You need to focus on what you want to grow in your life. You need to have an intention,…

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    Partner as child

    The terrible tantrums and seemingly unannounced multitude of feelings that a child can produce can be seen as outrageously mean. However, as we meet them as adults where they are in their tantrum or feeling of hurt, we can see them as just how they are. We do not think that they are doing this on purpose towards us. Nor do we overreact and blame them in a never ending blame-game. No, we see that we are the adult and that they are the child that we can help and love. We do not take their behavior personally. On the other hand, when a partner, a grown-up partner, reacts with…

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    The Lovers app – DIY therapy

    Research has shown that it is possible to overcome problems without professional help. In the Lovers app we know that you are the real experts of your relationship. Mening that you have all chances to create a successful relationship of your own making. The Lovers App might not work for everyone. If you are committed to the challenges, exercises and task that you will receive from us, you stand a better chance of course. But it might still not be enough. Professional help will always be available close to you. If you want to meet us, we are taking clients. We do however believe in this, the Lovers App. Please…

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    To hold space for each other

    Anonymous Alcoholics – surely you have heard, read or seen some parts of that work through watching series on Netflix or other channels. What have the AA to do with this app? The Lovers App? Well, as it turns out you need to create a space for each other in your relationship where you can feel at ease, swim fully in the swimming pool of uncertainty and confusion. And at the same time take turns in steering this ship of yours through (maybe) dark and murky waters. One of you might feel more helpless at times, or just more exhausted from work och house hold chores. Hopefully life works with…

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    Relationships – the romantic norm or a new classic norm?

    The School of Life has a lot of interesting material that we have looked into as we created the lovers-app. One of them being the book Relationships. In this book they add a new perspective to the existing Romantic norm of relationships which they call the Classical. The current Romantic script is both normative and delusional. Because in order for us to feel normal in our relationship, many of the following things are meant to happen. We should meet a person of extraordinary inner and outer beauty and immediately feel a special attraction to them, and they to us. We should have highly satisfying sex, not only at the start,…