• Cards

    Practice gratitude – a tool for you

    To be grateful can be a useful tool in your life. Science suggests that expressing gratitude boosts both your health and spreads happiness around you. Here are a few simple exercises to help you build your capacity for gratitude. We say “thanks” a dozen or more times a day: when someone holds a door open, bags our groceries, puts a report on our desk. It’s a reflex, an unaware reaction to simple daily happenings. We just say it, most often without really acknowledging the person we’re thanking. It is like a routine. Yet as easy as it is to engage in a “thanks—no problem” exchange in our daily routines, we’re…

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    Eye gazing = connection

    Eye gazing is a speedy way to connect with anyone….or not? The New York Times published an article in 2015 describing an experiment in which two people are made to stare into each other’s eyes for four uninterrupted minutes. It’s been theorized that at the end of the four minutes, each person should feel closer and more connected to the other, no matter their relationship to each other prior to the experiment. Inspired by the article, YouTube’s SoulPancake gathered six couples to test out the theory. Among the couples they recruited was a duo on their fourth date and a married couple who’d been together for 55 years. Each couple…

  • Cards,  Lust and sex

    Where did you learn about sex?

    As we grow up in a family, community and society we all receive messages around sex. Some are subtle, others very clear. It is very useful for us all to understand more of where our conceptions, beliefs and thoughts origin from. Once we can see them as not attached to us, maybe also understand why we believe a certain thing, once we can understand and be more aware of where we learned about sex – then we can learn to change our beliefs and thoughts to the ones we would like to have. What messages did you hear in your childhood about sex? Or the opposite…what did you not hear?…

  • Cards,  Lust and sex

    I turn myself on when I…

    I turn myself on when I…… or You turn me on when you……. When you are talking to yourself or to your partner around turn ons and turn offs, what does it sound like? Are you taking responsibility for turning yourself on, for your arousal?Or are you letting your partner take all the responsibility for your arousal and excitement? Do you need your partner to ignite your arousal, turning you on to want sex?How is your usual internal conversation or the one with your partner? Can you take more responsibility than today and keep your arousal simmering? Can you own your excitement around sex? Can you turn your own arousal…

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    The importance of sexting

    In a relationship, sooner or later the mundane will take over and, the communication that takes place between the lovers changes. The initial texting that consisted of “I love you-s” and maybe setting up some scenarios for next date, or explicit wishes for sex simply vanishes. And sooner or later the communication in texting during the days and even at home might consist only of who´s doing the shopping, or picking up the kids, buying the birthday gift for the mother in law, or other very practical details to make life, work and family function as optimal as possible. Choose a sexting tool To keep communicating to your partner as…

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    Are you bringing the best of you to work and the leftovers of you home?

    If you want to change the other, change yourself. ...says Esther Perel in this interview Esther Perel is one of the persons that the Lovers app is truly in awe of. We love her work, her preciseness, her way of widening the perspectives and how she shares her work with us all. Below you’ll find two more paragraphs from the same interview at cbc Canada. What skills should I start honing? I often tell people, “How many of you find yourself bringing the best of you to work and the leftovers home?” And generally a vast majority of the people raised their hands. Here is this relationship from which we expect so…

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    Do I really have to put in effort to desire my partner?

    A common myth is that there is something serious about the relationship if the parties need to work to keep the fire alive. This can cause sex to become anxious. Yes, that’s it. You need to work on wanting your partner. For the remainder of your relationship. To desire him or her every day. All you want to do or have in life you need to strive for. Apply time and effort. Maybe spend some money on it. Receive help from someone who knows a little more than you right now. You need to focus on what you want to grow in your life. You need to have an intention,…

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    Partner as child

    The terrible tantrums and seemingly unannounced multitude of feelings that a child can produce can be seen as outrageously mean. However, as we meet them as adults where they are in their tantrum or feeling of hurt, we can see them as just how they are. We do not think that they are doing this on purpose towards us. Nor do we overreact and blame them in a never ending blame-game. No, we see that we are the adult and that they are the child that we can help and love. We do not take their behavior personally. On the other hand, when a partner, a grown-up partner, reacts with…

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    The Lovers app – DIY therapy

    Research has shown that it is possible to overcome problems without professional help. In the Lovers app we know that you are the real experts of your relationship. Mening that you have all chances to create a successful relationship of your own making. The Lovers App might not work for everyone. If you are committed to the challenges, exercises and task that you will receive from us, you stand a better chance of course. But it might still not be enough. Professional help will always be available close to you. If you want to meet us, we are taking clients. We do however believe in this, the Lovers App. Please…

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    To hold space for each other

    Anonymous Alcoholics – surely you have heard, read or seen some parts of that work through watching series on Netflix or other channels. What have the AA to do with this app? The Lovers App? Well, as it turns out you need to create a space for each other in your relationship where you can feel at ease, swim fully in the swimming pool of uncertainty and confusion. And at the same time take turns in steering this ship of yours through (maybe) dark and murky waters. One of you might feel more helpless at times, or just more exhausted from work och house hold chores. Hopefully life works with…